Experience the thrill of a lifetime

Experience the thrill of a lifetime – Take a ride on the OTTAWA TRANSPO BUSLINE

I am convinced that the drivers of the Ottawa Transpo buses are all repressed race car drivers.

Much like the subways in Toronto, you have between 1-30 seconds to board the bus; from the time it stops to the time it takes flight. Once your foot has touched the floor of the bus you are fair game for ‘Indy’, as we will call him (your bus driver). Your ability to remain vertical is not his concern. Rumour has it that for every group of eight that topples he receives Bus Points which can be used for days off. Similarly, but a little harder is to dislodge, are sitting bus patrons. The aged and the young fall quickly prey to this game, sliding from side to side on their seats, white knuckles clinging to seat backs and the odd body swinging from the upper bar which has been placed strategically too high for the average person.

Glancing back, Indy realizes he is going to have to pick up the pace as he has a couple of Die Hards on board. Slamming his foot to the floor, his bus goes into overdrive. The vehicle now appears to glide, jump and pitch like a giant skate on a bumpy rink. Riding the tail of the roller coaster, patrons strain their necks, trying to see if the bus is still on the road and catch a glimpse at the madman behind the wheel. Meanwhile, the count is only at five; two at departure, two at the burst of speed and one hanger that fell a the last bend. Indy grins and bares his teeth at the upcoming curve….this one should be good for at least two more.

“Sweet Mother of G*&^! The bus begins to fishtail while Indy is heard uttering ” Oh Yeah, common, give it too me!” Simultaneously, thirty hands go up to ring the bell in an effort to disembark a the earliest opportunity…..I saw one man make the sign of the cross and another reach up for a non-existent oxygen mask.

Miraculously, the bus comes to a stop and instantly empties, except for one mother and child. She had resourcefully used her purse strap to secure her child to the seat. She leaves muttering and shaking her fist at Indy, who calmly reaches back and taps on the sign behind his seat………

ZERO TOLERANCE WITH HARASSMENT!

Sharon Brassard

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