We all live with some type of fear in our daily lives, we don’t always know it’s there, or that it controls our thoughts, but it’s there. There are healthy fears that keep you safe, like the fear of getting burnt, which keeps you a safe distance from extreme heat. The fears I am talking about are the illusions in your heads, even the ones you have at a subconscious level and are not even aware of. The ones that keep you stuck and feeling paralyzed.
Where do these fears come from? You start to learn the moment you are conceived. You learn from your parents, your siblings, your grandparents, teachers, friends and the media. You absorb and adopt the fears you see others acting out in their lives. Sometimes they are purposely taught to you, by well meaning adults, but the fact remains that the fear is theirs, and not yours. You learn from watching the news on television or reading the newspaper, or listening to a conversation adults around you are having about something in the news. As a child you are somewhat victim to what you learn about life, but as an adult you can start to discern what is yours and what you simply adopted from some outside force.
Fears affect you in many ways, often without your knowing. Your bodies send you the first indications that you are in “fear“, have you ever experienced a clenched fist, or jaw, a knot in your stomach, or strain in your shoulders? This is your bodies way of sending you a message that you are in “fear“. Are you listening to your body?
Fear starts with a thought, once your mind engages in that thought it creates energy in the form of an emotion. This emotion, when given enough attention creates an action. At this point your body is already sending you indications. If you listen to your body you can save yourself a lot of struggle and energy. If you ignore your body and act on the fear, by not taking the next step towards your dream(fear of failure/success) or putting everything in your store on sale (fear of not having enough money), for examples, you have just created the exact opposite of what you want in your life. Struggle.
How do you avoid acting in fear? First by being aware of your thoughts. I promise you will be amazed at what runs through your mind when you first start to watch your thoughts. You will be amazed at how your talk to yourself as well. The point here is to notice your thoughts, not to judge them, and certainly not to get caught up in them. Once you start to see the thoughts you can choose which ones are worth engaging in and which ones to simply let float away. When you notice thoughts that are fear based start to question where the fear came from, how your learned it, and where you may hold that fear in your body? When you take the time to do this inner questioning you are actually getting to the root of the fear. When you see the root you can choose to keep it, or to pull it out. You can actually see how this fear has affected your life and even if it was your fear to begin with. Once you pull out the root you can replace that fearful thought with a positive more faithful thought.
This work starts to create an open space within you, as you move through different situation in your life you create more and more space. As you continue to watch your thoughts, you can start to take control of them instead of allowing them to control you. When you notice fearful thoughts you can simply accept that they are there, let them go, and change them to something more faithful and positive. Keep in mind you always have the choice of which thoughts to engage in, which thoughts to act upon, and which ones to kick to the curb. The only restrictions you have in life, are the ones you place on yourself, and the ones you put your attention to.