I know that you aren’t happy, no matter how you act in front of family, in front of friends, in front of strangers. You have your reasons, legitmate reasons why you feel the way you do. I know you have moments when you think the world wouldn’t even notice if you weren’t here anymore. You have even thought about what would be the easiest way. I am not telling you what to, or not do. I cannot because I am not you but I can make one simple request. Talk to someone, be it your parents, your doctor, someone you respect and look up to, your teacher, or call a hotline. Sometimes talking about something, even simply saying it out loud will help. I know I have been there.
I have bi-polar depression and in the past I have had really good days and really bad days. Sometimes what takes the most courage is to speak out, talk to someone and admit that there may be a problem. It is difficult but it is so worth it. No one is going to accuse you or claim that you are a fake. No one will laugh at you or no believe you. In Canada, one in four people deal with mental illness. And it is just that, an illness. It doesn’t mean you are broken, crazy and a loser. If you break your leg you don’t carry on walking around trying to ignore it so why do so if the issue is mental rather than physical?
Christmas time can be hard, sometimes too hard. It seems that everyone else in the world is having fun, partying, hooking up, being happy while you feel as if you are an outsider, unaccepted, unloved, un-noticed. You wish you could just go to sleep and wake up in the new year, avoiding the partying season. Who wants to spend New Year‘s Eve alone, uninvited to a party? You turn on the television to try to distract yourself but all you see are happy people on shows and movies, all enjoying life, love and every day. It just makes you feel more of an outsider.
What is stopping you from talking to someone? Talking to someone helps, even if the stigma of being in therepy or having to talk to a professional is often very real. Why should you feel shame or embaressment for talking to someone when in Hollywood it seems that if you are not in thereapy you haven’t really made it as a super star? Is it the possibily of being prescribed meds? Will they affect who you are? Slow you down, change your personality, mess with your mind, alter your reality? I can only speak from personal experience but taking meds was one of the best things I ever did. Along with depression, I was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. Meds help a lot. I feel so much more in control. More alive. You shouldn’t be afraid of trying something that potentially will help you.
Gary Speed was found dead on Sunday morning. It appears that he took his own life. Gary Speed was an ex-soccer player who had enjoyed a long and successful career. He had recently taken over as manager of the Welsh national soccer team, inspiring them to a series of wins. Friends and colleges say that Speed would be the last person they would expect to do this. There were no indicators, no hints of what Speed was thinking. He leaves behind a wife and two children.