You need a good dressing down

We all like to think that we dress smartly and trendily but let us be honest, there are some of us who perhaps don’t quite measure up. If you spend any time at all on the Internet, you will of at least heard of a website named People of Walmart. On it are many fine images of people who believe that to visit the W store, all they need to do is grab the first items of clothing that happen to find in a closet. People of Walmart should be a warning to us all and a timely reminder that some of us should think before leaving the house.

I am all for comfort. It is perhaps the reason why I hate wearing socks and wear shorts and t-shirts all year round. It is the reason why I choose to sleep in the nude. Yes ladies, when I am in bed, I just wear a smile. Just think about that. I understand that just because comfort is important, that doesn’t give me leave to dress however I wish.

For the last few years any time you venture outside the door you run the risk of seeing both men and women wearing the latest trend in pyjama bottoms. Seriously, in what universe does wearing pyjamas out on a shopping trip seem right? Not only does it look as if you could not be bothered to get dressed when you rose from your bed this morning but when the pyjamas are too long and drag on the floor, getting dirty and torn, you can’t tell me that you really want to wear them back to bed! How would you like it if I rose from my bed and without changing what I wear to bed, walked into Walmart for a bag of onions and a sausage.

Now, I am the last person to complain about women with large bossums. If I say anything about a woman’s chest, would you hold it against me?. It could be said that I love them but that doesn’t mean I want to see ladies of large chests shopping without the correct suppport systems. We all know that with time, gravity takes hold of such orbs of fun and drags them slowly towards the knees. Without the wire and cloth scaffolding that is known as the bra, ladies with big funbags should not venture out. It isn’t attractive, more mentally scarring. They take something(s) that are well loved and turn them into items of horror.

Yes, I do know that for some women, there are medical reasons as to why a bra cannot be worn and for these women, they will always get a pass.

No matter if the weather is wet or dry, it seems that everyday is a good day to wear Crocs. Crocs, those rubber slip on sandals that would look at home being worn by Teletubbies, should not be considered grown ups footwear. Honestly, just because they are comfortable and don’t require laces doesn’t mean that they should be worn outside, ever. My one hope is that with global warming is that anyone wearing Crocs will step outside and find them melted to the ground.

Now I am the first to say that I am far from the most fashionable in St. Thomas. While I would love to be able to wear well made, fitted suits and hats, I tend to be found either in shorts or a rugby jersey and jeans. I prefer sneakers that are at least five years old. My ideal fashions and my real fashions are far apart but I still have eyes, eyes which are easily offended by the pyjamas, bra-less boobs and crocs that they see. Seriously people, just think a little more before you venture to buy the boots, jeans and sweaters that you apparently are not going to wear anyway.

Stop wearing your pyjamas and crocs. Start wearing your bras and I’ll stop wearing my cape around Walmart.

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