Greetings my gentle readers to this weeks installment of the “Be Yourself, Often” blog found at www.joelwlamoure.com. Sort of prep for out Tuesday at 9pm EST radio show on WULC entitled “Prescribing Spiritual H.O.P.E” which is on Spreaker (http://www.spreaker.com/show/tuesday_prescribing_spiritual_hope). These are the moments that we can really address the moments and the actions, both positive and negative that contribute to the week that was. How did we impact based on the decisions and Belief structure that we have? Notice I didn’t say to do nothing, for that is an option that may be either positive or negative. It is a choice; still rooted in the person we are and ultimately will determine outcomes.
Last week we took a look at structural soundness and being able to an architect of what we do and how we deal with events that transpire. This week I have had the wonderful opportunity through both clinical practice and teaching to have this theory looked at and challenged. The ultimate root cause analysis that I often speak of is so very different for everyone and not unlike the rockets blowing away from the shuttle when it exploded, once a vector starts, it often will Y away from the center of the event
In order to truly help someone and working to make their structure more sound, we must ensure that there is buy in and collaboration. There is a bunch of insight and awareness, dialogue and listening that SHOULD take place, but sadly doesn’t. Far too often, people are so rooted on what they want or what they think should be the end point, but never stopping to realize that they are making the situation worse.
As we stop and address a situation, there may be a hesitation to engage, fear or other past or current events and ultimately end up “doing their job”, but never ever getting the true wins and satisfactions that elude them. And sadly, they become bitterer across time for that extra step is never taken and the opportunities are not handed to them. This is a disequilibrium centering on delusion, different belief structures, different values, and lack of communications and really seems so unfair! I mean, after all, they are focusing what is important from the general perspective. C’mon coach…let me in and give me a chance!
But either the player (and many times too the coach) end up in a stalemate. One of the two parties has forgotten what is important in this equation. In the differentials of assessing a patient, these are the small things, NOT the big general perspectives. That is merely the accepted level of average that too many people take and accept.
We often forget that we are the sum of our parts and that is what drives the diagnosis and the end general perspective.
A wise person told me this week that it only takes one smart detective to crack a case, but along the way a bunch of people that aren’t looking at details can trample all over your crime scene. The detective is where they are because they have and are able to look at the small details.
So I believe in order to look at a person as a whole, we need to look at all their parts and ensure those parts are well oiled and dovetail well and all the cogs and teeth in place. THAT is what makes and generates wins and positive outcomes… for BOTH parties and not just one. It takes two to tango and an appreciation of the other person and what are their wishes, goals and what is ultimately important to them. At this point we can step back and see the psychosocial quantitative analysis that needs to be done. It isnt about the numbers at the end of the day, but it is about the person and THEIR goals and outcomes. Its not the dollars and cents, but the psychosocial rehabilitation and quality adjusted life years that we are able to optimize. This is what gains traction and derives satisfaction for the person and the giver.
But in order to do that, we need to listen and look at the structure, belief, spirit and gifts that both parties have. Maybe, just maybe we will be able to leverage that for a better outcome, which will define a better society. Not one based in money and stuff and commodities, but on based in mutual understanding and psych-social balance.